Today In Trainwrecks: Paris Engaged To Paris
Holy fucking shit on a stick: The latest word from Hades is that Paris Hilton is engaged to the only man worthy of her affections, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis. We all know that Paris can only love Paris, so a lifetime with Latsis would be the only proper conclusion to the lonely heiress' search for love. And, because Latsis is so fortunate to be as Paris as Paris herself, he's the only man who can hold her attention for longer than the initial moment of penetration. Thus their love is meant to be.
Congratulations, young Parises — may your babies (also named Paris) be disease-free and your inevitable reality series, mildly entertaining.
