This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Wherein we invite our readers to plunge their eager hands into the wet, blind item clay provided by humpy E! gossip community college ceramics instructor Ted Casablanca and fashion a crude vase revealing the item's secret celebrity identity. Feel the burn of One Poor-Me Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Melba Toasted may know how to get a primo paycheck, but the poor brat just can't seem to get a friggin' break, nonetheless. Boo-hoo. Ever since Melba's man, Devon Heaven, decided he wanted less wasted pastures (bedroom- and life-wise), Melba has simply been a wreck. I mean, what's a jilted princess to do? Start writing a column called "Dear Jennifer"? Doubt Melba's thought of anything so tacky—or common." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to defamer[AT]gmail.com and put "blind" in the subject line. We'll post your responses later today. Your guesses are posted!