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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com (putting "privacywatch" or "sighting" in the subject line helps immensely) and let the world know that Vin Diesel's car seems kinda gay.

In today's summer season kick-off episode: Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson; Arnold Schwarzenegger; Vin Diesel; Robert De Niro; Jake Gyllenhaal; Lindsay Lohan, Will Forte, Seal, Trishelle, and Quentin Tarantino; Rachel Bilson; Paris Hilton, Paris Latsis, and Chloe Sevigny; Jessica Simpson; James Woods; Robert Blake; Cybill Shepherd; Seth Green; Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips; Matthew Perry, Gary Busey, and Wendy the Snapple Lady; Tiffani "Amber" Thiessen; Chris Klein and Katherine Heigl; Eddie Furlong; Adam Duritz; Tori Spelling, LeVar Burton, and the Soup Nazi; Kurt Warner; Adam Levine; Carson Daly; Angie from the Apprentice;

· I saw Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson (I can't even type that without giggling uncontrollably) at A Voltre Sante in Brentwood on Monday. I was on my way to the beach and a little drunk and thought I imagined him looking at my ass while chowing down (with another dude who was NOT Vince Vaughn or Luke Wilson. Is he allowed to go anywhere without either of them?). But we had ordered food to go, had to wait a couple minutes and according to my friend, his gigantor nose continued to stare at my junk in the trunk. Thank you O "BS" W!

· On Monday (Memorial Day), a friend and I rented bikes early in the morning in Venice Beach. As we're doing the ocean-side bike from Venice to Santa Monica, I hear a familiar accent coming up from behing me, and then I see the familiar accent donning a pink shirt ride past me on his bike. I had an idea of who it was, and as I rode quickly to catch up for a better look, I realized I was right: it was the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, biking along with an older gentleman with the rest of us common folk.

· On my way home from a fruitless day of apartment hunting yesterday (5/28), I spotted Vin Diesel driving down Wilshire toward Santa Monica. I only had a few seconds to observe that he's much punier than I'd assumed, as he quickly pulled in to a gas station at Barrington. Surprisingly, he was behind the wheel of a rather ordinary-looking Chrysler Sebring convertible. Perhaps even more surprisingly, he was accompanied by two attractive women.

· Either it was a hologram, a professional impersonator, a lost identical twin, or the real deal, on furlough from Tribeca: Robert De Niro, looking trim and sporting in khaki short pants, pristine flip flop sandals, and a crisp tee shirt pumping his own gas at the Thrifty gas station on the part of Santa Monica Blvd. that looks like Kosovo. The new car smell emitting from his Lexus wafted across my filthy Honda Civic, lifting dust devils into the air. I
stared; he ignored.

· I was at my local eatery, Urth Caffe, when I spotted ol' dreamy eyes himself, Jake Gyllenhaal, wearing a cut off T-shirt (post workout?) and mirrored shades to cover up those limpid orbs. He sat in the extreme corner of the inside room with his shades on, and scarfed his food down in peace. Quite a good set of shoulders on that boy. Within the hour, up comes Jason Stratham (also in workout gear). I was with a prospective swain, so I could not run after Jason to ask him to be the father of my babies. Sigh.

· Lindsay Lohan at Cabo Cantina again on Friday (with bodyguard in tow), Will Forte and Seal at The Standard later that night, the one and only Trishelle at Cabo on Sunday, and Quentin Tarantino chowing down outside at The Saddle Ranch yesterday. Fun times as always on the Sunset Strip.

· I saw Rachel Bilson driving around the Hollywood Dell on Memorial Day. She was driving this not-very-fancy black Honda, but I read in some article that she still owns (and drives) whatever economy car she first bought when she started making money through acting. And she was giving some guy a blow job! Just kidding, just kidding.

· At the deli counter at Bristol Farms (used to be Chasen’s), 5/26, I saw Paris Hilton and Paris What’s-It, making out (while she assumed various typical Paris contortions). She asked for something the deli man had to go look for. He came back and said “Not today,” and she said “Oh, that’s okay.” Went back to making out. She wore a form-fitting sweatshirt, hood up, and the biggest, ugliest, blackest, hairiest boots I’ve ever seen. Like Uggs on steroids. Couple days later (5/30), at Whole Foods (Fairfax & Santa Monica), I saw Chloe Sevigny and some vaguely familiar dude, ALSO making out at the deli counter. She wore all white: a short-sleeved top, one of those au courant short-short skirts that looks like it’s been slashed to ribbons (this is a BAD fashion trend) and some “look-at-me” Greco-Roman sandals with about a million straps that went halfway up her legs. She made eye contact with me for a looonnggg time with her sad eyes (no makeup) whilst wrapped around the guy, who sported a “Batman” t-shirt, nothin’-special long hair and scruffy beard. She CAN do better. Why do celeb chicks have to MAKE OUT all the time, even at deli counters. Are they that insecure?

· I just saw Jessica Simpson at Mexicali in the Valley. She was with her Mom, trusty assistant CeCe, and some other girl, and were the only people eating outside. Of course, Nick was nowhere to be found. She looked cute, but was rocking that 'Gwen Stefani hippie braids on both sides of your head' look. And her sky high platform shoes were shockingly tacky.

· upon leaving swingers on beverly after a subpar saturday brunch, my friend and i noticed james woods sitting singularly at one of their outside tables. he made eye contact with us, seeming desperate for SOMEONE to come and join him. tempting. we thought a trip to design within reach would be more fulfilling. after ogling at furniture we couldn't afford, we were walking back towards our cars parked by swingers, to see that two seemingly midwestern recent college grads (one with a banana clip, the other with a hooded sweatshirt in ninety degree heat) had stopped to talk to mr. woods. he's flailing his arms wildly, making grand gestures probably talking about how hard it is to make it in the entertainment industry (especially after making a movie like "against all odds"). he then tried to "be cool" by offering the girls two available seats at his four-top, and it seemed to be a swingers match made in today-you're-amusing-but-i'll-ignore-you-tomorrow heaven . i didn't care enough to watch james reel em in any further.

· just saw Robert Blake kickin it with those old weirdoes who make the Starbucks at the Glen Centre atop Beverly Glen their - "I'm writing a screenplay on my Power Book, but need to do it in public for some strange reason" - home away from home. He was staring out, pensively at the parking lot, perhaps pondering his next big career move.

· Monday (Memorial Day) brunch on the rooftop patio at Barney Greengrass, I spotted Cybill Shepherd with an extremely large group of nonfamous people who I took to be her extended family. She looked pretty, and surprisingly unwrinkled.

· Saw Seth Green at a Saturday afternoon showing of "The Longest Yard" at the Sherman Oaks Galeria, along with a friend who based on physical type alone, I am positive was a writer. Most likely a comedy writer.

· Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips were together on my flight from Dallas to LA yesterday (5/30). Don't know enough about them to know if they're romantically involved or not, but it didn't appear romantic. They looked bored, except for a few moments of mugging it up for Bijou's digicam. She looked more cute and less crazy than when I've
seen her out in NYC. Danny needs to let go of the camo trucker hat look.

· Saw your item on Matthew Perry at the 5/4 Dodgers game. We saw him at the 5/14 Dodgers game and they threw his mug on the jumbrotron around the 7th inning and started playing the friggin' Friends theme song. He looked half mortified/half resigned to hearing that stupid-ass tune for the rest of his life. Can't the poor bastard attend a Dodgers game in peace? Also saw Gary Busey, Wendy the Snapple Lady and some other C-listers taping a richshaw race outside Grauman's around 8:30 a.m. Saturday, 5/14. Think it was for their latest installment in VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. Busey's teeth were blinding.

· just saw Tiffani "Amber" Thiessen at Fred Segal, first in the gift section of the store (she was looking at greeting cards) and then in the restaurant, where she was eating lunch with a few other people. Man, does she need to go back to her original hair color.

· while riding bikes along the santa monica/venice bikeway - my friend kp and i, nearly fell off of our bikes staring at chris klein. jogging topless in b-ball shorts and do-rag with a walkman (def not an ipod). then we rounded the corner and there was a photo shoot with katherine heigl. (though from far away it looked like heather graham.) though that's not even an eventful day on muscle beach.

· On 5/25 I walked past Eddie Furlong, who was in the express checkout line at Whole Foods at 3rd & Fairfax. He was wearing a vintage polyester long-sleeve printed shirt (circa 1995 Urge Overkill) and he was so big that he looked like he swallowed the Terminator - more like Fat Elvis than Brandon Davis.

· A sighting for an OC edition of Privacy Watch: Saw Adam Duritz from Counting Crows Saturday night in Laguna Beach in front of Las Brisas restaurant. Looking very puffy and with freaky hair in its full glory, the man looks like a muppet.

· First, saw Tori Spelling on 5/26 having a late dinner at Cheebo on Sunset with what looked like her husband and another male friend. She looked very nice in a white pantsuit, though quite skinny. Then, on a return flight from Philadelphia to LAX on 5/29, saw both LeVar Burton and Larry Thomas, AKA the Soup Nazi from "Seinfeld." Soup Nazi seemed nice enough, was talking to people and taking pictures with the crew, but tragically he was wearing a "Sein-off" t-shirt from the Seinfeld finale.

· Does this count? Saw Giants quarterback (and Eli Manning's self made bitch) Kurt Warner at Baja Cantina Sunday afternoon. Don't know why a NY football quarterback would be in Cali during Pre-season mini-camps, but my friend did ask where his "lesbian wife" was which made me giggle and Kurt leave.

· I saw the lead singer of Maroon 5, Adam Levine, at the cute restaurant Off Vine in Hollywood today. He was repeatedly walking in and out of the restaurant as if he was looking for something or someone. He was wearing an old rocker t-shirt (shocking!) and really low-slung jeans (even more shocking!). He was taller and thinner than I expected...

· Carson Daly at the Trocadero on Sunset on Saturday, May 28. Surprisingly tall and svelte, he left with the antithesis of Tara Reid on his arm.

· This may come off as pretty lame to some, but I just almost got walked into by Angie from the Apprentice as she rounded the corner onto Sunset Blvd. from Schrader right by the HAC (Hollywood Athletic Club). She had the same bottle red hair with two blond streaks, and wore a pair of nasty lime green capri pants and tight black shirt. Her head was firmly down, and she looked like she was in a rush. Wonder why she was in Hollywood?