The Projectionist: It's Easy To Pick The Sith
Go forth into the summer and taste Hollywood's cinematic delights, but only in accordance with the numbers listed below.
1. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith —$32 million
It's just so much easier to assume that ROTS is going to win the BO derby (we can hardly remember a time before Sith ruled the world) than to bother with what we usually do—construct elaborate algorithms that predict the likeliest outcomes, adjusting for variables such as "time of year," "level of studio promotion," and "whether a movie looks like it will suck." Let's go, Sith!
2. Cinderella Man—$28 million
During filming, star Russell Crowe showed his typical actorly intensity by threatening to thrust producer Brian Grazer into Ron Howard's anal cavity if the director called "cut" before he'd sufficiently bloodied onscreen/offscreeen rival Craig Bierko's nose. Always the consummate pro, Crowe only followed through on the threat on two occasions.
3. Madagascar—$27 million
What can we say? Kids seem to love CGI animals, even if they're voiced by David Schwimmer.
4. The Longest Yard—$22 million
50 First Dates was on cable last night. That was a delightful little confection, wasn't it?
5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants—$11 million
Soon to be heard in Hollywood nightclubs: "Yes, your ass looks fat in those traveling pants."