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Yes, you might experience fleeting feelings of pity for the once-proud man who played Rambo and Rocky Balboa. But please, don't judge. What would you do if your last-ditch effort at a comeback on reality TV was canceled after one season, and your face, once the most famous in the world, was robbed of its ability to poignantly grimace by a variety of ill-advised cosmetic procedures?

That's right, Johnny Self-Righteous. You'd sell pudding.