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Instead of going outside and enjoying the summer weather, why not relax in the air-conditioned comfort of your local multiplex? There's a dramatically reduced chance that you'll be attacked by a shark while munching on popcorn if it's done at a movie theater instead of in the ocean.

1. Mr. and Mrs. Smith—$42 million
Will all of the attention paid to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's relationship (or the conspicuous effort spent denying its existence) put more celeb-obsessed fannies in the seats? Or will moviegoers be turned off by the distracting media blitz induced by the tantalizing thought of two of the world's most beautiful people smashing their sexual organs together? (Over and over...and over...and OOOO-VER! OK, we're done.) The blame or the credit will inevitably be ascribed to Pitt's six-pack or Jolie's vagina, which will rise or fall on the power list according to the box office results.

2. Madagascar—$18 million
Who can think about CGI animals when beautiful, very famous people are fucking all over the place?

3. The Longest Yard—$15 million
Who can think about Adam Sandler playing football when beautiful, very famous people are fucking all over the place? (Gay dudes with odd taste, probably.)

4. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith —$14 million
Who can think about George Lucas' neck-wattle while Angelina Jolie applies nipple clamps to parts of Brad Pitt's anatomy specifically warned against on the nipple clamps' packaging?

5. Cinderella Man—$13 million
You know where this is going, and yet we are powerless to stop: Who can think about Russell Crowe sitting at the bottom of a pain-well, inhaling the darkness while uppity hotel clerks all over the country go unbludgeoned, while Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have sex and stuff?

Not us. Not us.