This image was lost some time after publication.

Radar does some digging and reports that Katie Holmes' Scientology-supplied BFF is all NOT-IV! OMFG!

According to sources close to the Church, it means [Holmes "friend" Jessica Rodriguez] joined the elite group of Scientologists who’ve been enlightened with the six-figure secrets of Xenu, the evil intergalactic ruler who implanted “thetans,” or alien spirits, in earth’s volcanoes 75 million years ago, after which they escaped and invaded human bodies. As a “New OT IV,” Rodriguez has the power to, “control life, thought, matter, energy, space, and time,” according to Scientology’s official web site. Having completed the Church’s “False Purpose Rundown,” Katie’s spiritual escort also has the ability to spot any “suppressive persons” (read: enemies of Scientology, like skeptical journalists and concerned friends and family members) who interact with her celebrity charge.

Cruise wasn't going to trust his business interests the love of his life to some sailor-suited drone from the Sea Org who normally spends her days swabbing down the bridge of the mothership. Holmes gets only the best suppressive-spotter the Church has to offer! His girl's new "pal" is so thorough that when Cruise sent his ladylove some delicious cupcakes the other day, she stun-gunned the messenger and made sure the frosting was "clear" before letting Katie indulge.