This image was lost some time after publication.

Green felt-fondling sister site Oddjack enlists a Maxim editor to handicap Russell Crowe's next victim (i.e., set the odds, not incapacitate with a malfunctioning hotel phone—Crowe's proven he can handle that part all on his own). Those in danger include any member of the service industry, Cinderella Man co-star Craig Bierko (whom Crowe has previously assaulted in the press), and the actor himself:

General Public — If you’re any kind of service employee—golf caddy, fast-food burger slinger, bodyguard, waitress, barback, pizza delivery boy, Amway salesman—quake in fear. If you get Crowe angry, Crowe will smash. Odds: 1/5(Prohibitive favorite)

Our money's on the members of 30 Odd Foot of Grunts (odds: 5-1), whose continuing inability to properly translate the gossamer poetry of Crowe's throbbing heart into appealing sonic form may put them in grave physical peril.