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There are probably worse jobs than being a personal assistant to Lindsay Lohan—barbed-wire suppository tester or door-to-door herpes cream salesman spring to mind without too much effort—but no other gig leaves the former employee with an amusing array of "Lohanecdotes" to share with the internets. A "man-nanny" to an "unnamed" actress reveals what it was like to babysit his charge on a recent New York movie set:

Imagine being paid seven million dollars to do something - anything! - and then complaining when you got there that you had to do it. That's what it was like. All the filmmaking traditions - rehearse, light, rehearse, shoot - were out the window. And remember: we weren't making 2001: A Space Odyssey here. “Mama don't rehearse” was the implied motto. But they would ask her to, several times a day, every day. I don't know why. Top five reasons she contrived not to come on set for rehearsal:
1) “I can't. I bit my cheek. I need to see the medic.”
2) “I can't. It's raining.”
3) “I can't. I just bought a computer, can you show me how to use it?”
4) “I can't. I'm waiting for the FBI to call.”
5) “I can't. Not until my cigarettes get here.”
My second most favorite moment came the one time she did agree to come to set to rehearse. And then didn't. That's my girl.

Sometimes we feel like she's everyone's girl, ya know?