This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Your guesses are in! Circle the drain of One Hair-Raising Blind Vice once more before moving on:

Ted sez: "Slurpina Regina is renowned for doing what guys love the most, and usually chicks don't. And, no, I'm not talking about bottom-line boinking. Get your minds outta the gonzo gutter, already. I'm not that bad. Yet. Slurp, for short (just like her), broke up not long ago with her cute man, Smiley Fakeit. Now, though S. 'n' S. have both made a killing in their chosen professions, it's rather ironic that neither of them are a bit like the public thinks." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump.

You say: Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst. Your reasoning included mentions of the seeming on-again, off-again, oh-will-you-fucking-move-on nature of their relationship, Kirsten and Jake's "big heads" (a match, we suppose?), and a selfish desire that if you can't gaze longingly into Jake's dreamy globes, well, then all other women should suffer. This is why we love you so dearly. For those of you who want to reconcile this item with the speculation that JG is Ted's Toothy Tile muse, a reader helpfully pointed out that "babe" is a gender-neutral term. Ahem.

You say: Strong showings, but not good enough for you: Mary-Kate Olsen/David Katzenberg, Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston, Ashlee Simpson/Ryan Cabrera, Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama, and Kate Bosworth/Orlando Bloom. Of course, we have almost no idea what the item was even about, so these all sounds equally great to us.

And The Andy Dick Memorial "You Also Say" Item Goes To:: A tie!
"Rue McClanahan. Her career is on FIRE! HOZE HER DOWN"

and

"It's Michael (wle he was sleeping away from Neverland during the trial) and Bubbles (who has been seen at The Spotlight). I heard that Bubbles had a "You Tarzan, me Cheeta" interaction with Andy Dick in the toilet, who just may have been the one he was walked in on with."

Thanks to everyone for playing!