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You're probably already playing hooky (or at least nipping at the flask in your cubicle) on this early Friday afternoon, but still we offer your weekend box office instructions:

1. Batman Begins—$75 million
Are we going way too high with our guess? Maybe, but we threw this figure off the top of our head to an associate the other day, and we've never been afraid of being wildly inaccurate. We lined up with the other impatient nerds on Wednesday night and found out the movie's actually good (even allowing for the involuntary twitching we experienced every time Katie Holmes opened half her mouth to talk about "justice"), so maybe we won't wind up with a faceful of guano come Monday morning.

2. Mr. and Mrs. Smith—$27 million
With the way that director Doug Liman's cameras lens-fucked Angelina Jolie in every single frame in which she appeared, we would not be surprised in the slightest if we found out that he was spending quality time in her trailer while Brad Pitt was off trying to explain his on-screen chemistry to Jennifer Aniston.

3. Madagascar—$12 million
Talking CGI animals are nearly as good as a fistful of Ritalin for keeping the kids happy...

4. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith—$10 million
...but avoid the overstimulation of light saber battles if your child normally requires mind-control by the evil pharmaceutical industry.

5. The Perfect Man—$7 million
Something about seeing Heather Locklear as a mom is profoundly off-putting to us, but Hilary Duff fans probably never had the opportunity to lose many of the afternoons of their adolescence abusing themselves in front of a TJ Hooker poster.