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Due to today's proliferation of Cruise-Holmes stories, we're forced to assume the round-up position. Tuesday is for fake lovers:

· Fox 411's Roger Friedman makes the alien abduction comparisons seem much more literal, reporting that Katie Holmes suffered 16 "missing" days between a "Save the Music" concert and the infamous day the flacks announced her relationship with Tom Cruise. Only one thing seems certain: Probing was not involved [Fox 411]
· Those "missing days" probably flew by while the "preclear" Holmes slogged through the 343 questions on the Scientology "auditing" list. (Sample: "Have you ever made a practice of confusing people? Have you ever smothered a baby?") We're pretty sure the one about the baby is a trick question. [Radar Online]
· DreamWorks and Paramount will probably get stuck with Cruise's massive hotel bill from the French leg of his WOTW tour, as 34 rooms' worth of security and Scientology staffers can wreak some serious havoc on the minibar. [Page Six]