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· As we all probably know by now—i.e., we would've heard about the universe being sucked into a manhole outside The Late Show's Ed Sullivan Theate—Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes didn't wed last night in front of Letterman. But our CrazyTalk was right about the judge (and it appears sister site Gawker was talking to the same squirrel), because Letterman considerately made one available in the green room in case the crazy-in-fake-love couple wanted to tie the knot right then and there. They also turned down a chance to consummate their love in a dressing room filled with rose petals and an instructional Kama Sutra mural painted on the wall. Maybe they'll hit the love-room next time they have something to promote.
· Cruise also dropped in on The Today Show, where he taught Matt Lauer a thing or two about the evils of psychiatry: "You don’t even know what Ritalin is! If you read the papers on how they came up with the drug, the dosage… You should be more responsible in knowing what it is. I am responsible. I know these things." You heard the man: He knows things. (While we were sleeping off some coast-to-coast jetlag—why did we get out bed again?—Gawker helpfully transcribed the exchange.) Also: The AP has already documented the Today Show fracas.
· Wrapping up our team coverage, Gizmodo takes a look at the e-meter (you've heard the jokes, now see the gadget!). It turns out that the device is indeed somewhat more complicated than a couple of tin cans, some string, and a joy buzzer. But can a joy buzzer help free you from those troublesome body thetans? We think not.