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Director Peter Jackson's trying to sue New Line Cinema all the way back to Middle Earth over money he claims he's been shorted by the studio's alleged lowball sale of the subsidiary rights of Lord of the Rings merchandise to Time Warner (New Line's corporate parent) companies. Amazingly enough, an anonymous New Line lawyer thinks Jackson's already raked in all the cash he's entitled to (shocking!), but then gives the "incredible filmmaker" the back of his hand in the NY Times:

A litigator for New Line, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he is working on this lawsuit, said the money paid to Mr. Jackson so far is in line with the contract he signed.

"Peter Jackson is an incredible filmmaker who did the impossible on 'Lord of the Rings,' " this lawyer said. "But there's a certain piggishness involved here. New Line already gave him enough money to rebuild Baghdad, but it's still not enough for him."

We share his outrage. How dare Jackson demand more money, he's already rich! Doesn't he trust that the theoretical hundred million dollars or so that he's almost certainly not entitled to will be put to better use by Time Warner, a corporate entity so generous that they're in danger of a forcible non-profit designation, than it would be by Mr. Piggy Q. Auteur, who would probably just waste it on a bunch of fancy cameras to film sheep in New Zealand? To back up its smack talk, Time Warner will almost certainly fire all of New Line's attorneys and devote the savings (plus all future LOTR revenue) to building those orphanages in Iraq.

Also: Slate's Jack Shafer points out that the anonymous cheap shot is a no-no for the Times, but aren't cheap shots so much more fun than earned ones?