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• Vicious supermodel Naomi Campbell hooks up with hyper-rich financier Teddy Forstmann, which should last about as long as it takes for her to beat the shit out of him with his own gold bricks. [Page Six]
• To the lady who pelted poptard Aaron Carter with a used tampon: You rock. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• According to WWD, American Apparel founder Dov Charney is being sued for sexual harassment by three former employees. Apparently, they don't like to fuck the photographer, putting them in direct conflict with company procedures. [Page Six]
• At this point, we're slightly disappointed that Michael Jackson has taken his post-trial retreat somewhere as normal as Bahrain. [R&M]