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Do you think that prison didn't make house-arrested domestic diva Martha Stewart (that's M. Diddy to you, bitch) a lot tougher? In the new issue of Vanity Fair, Stewart (other prison nicknames: "The Plunger Princess" and "Switchblade Stewey") openly brags about her plans to escape from the hard time at her maximum-security mansion, from which she gets a mere 48 hours a week of work-related relief:

Asked about the electronic monitoring device she must wear on her ankle she has complained repeatedly that it irritates her skin Stewart says she knows how to remove it.

"I watched them put it on. You can figure out how to get it off," she is quoted as saying. "It's on the Internet. I looked it up."

Her publicist's eyes "widened with alarm" when Stewart made the remark. The article didn't say whether Stewart claimed ever to have taken off the device.

Stewart's legal team has advised her that it's technically not an escape attempt if she "accidentally" coats her upper ankle in homemade passionfruit marmalade and a half-dozen of her pedigreed lhasa apsos "mistakenly" gnaw through her leg bone, allowing her to leave the monitoring device at the house while she limps through some therapeutic shopping at Williams Sonoma.