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If you're lunching at your cubicle or desk, please put down the sandwich before reading on, because we don't want to be responsible for any sudden, severe indigestion. We've heard some very loud whispers that someone is not-so-quietly shopping around a video that they claim features everyone's favorite, totally-unconvincing-as-a-young-conqueror, merrily-boozing star Colin Farrell and former Playmate girlfriend Nicole Narain romping in alleged, sexual sex-tape fashion. The sellers are supposedly looking for a seven-figure upfront fee to hand over the tape for release by a distributor.

Even if someone was willing to pony up the money to get a look at the alleged, sexual sex-tape-style action, they couldn't release it without Farrell's permission, which an A-list actor (do we need to double-check IMDb before throwing around that designation?) isn't inclined to give, even if Bone Booth would be an awesome hypothetical title. Besides, his agents at CAA would sooner have him shot and buried in the desert than allow pen to touch release form. Self-releasing a theoretical sex-tape would be such a reality-TV star move, and Farrell has at least a couple of more years before he's ready for Celebrity Who's Your Daddy?

Enjoy what's left of your lunch hour!