Colin Farrell's Sex Tape Lawsuit: The Inevitable Restraining Order
In Los Angeles, legal action is swift when matters of videotaped images of a famous actor putting his penis into an obscure former Playmate are involved, as a judge issued a temporary restraining order yesterday in response to Colin Farrell's lawsuit against Nicole "Why Does No One Ever Mention My Role As 'Waitress' On Entourage? I'm Also An Actress" Narain. Huzzah! Justice herself has demurely cupped her hands around Farrell's genitals, temporarily shielding them from the public's greedy gaze. Now we can do nothing but wait for the mysteriously "hacked" hard drive, the viral internet dissemination of a three-minute version of Farrell's best performance since The Recruit, and the compulsive rinsing of our eyeballs with Drano after a fourth consecutive viewing of the clip. We've all been down the filthy little path through the dark heart of celebrity intercourse before.