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Your thoughts on horny spa patrons and lemonade-serving pop-stars are ready for inspection. Take Two Squishy Blind Vices on a second date and see if things click:

Ted sez: "Rocko Turbo is as hairy and horny as Croon Whitebread is celebrated and banal. Former's in the movie biz, latter often steals Grammy attention from those who really deserve it. Which, of course, is why I'm reporting (albeit in a thinly veiled way) his crimes. Rocko first. Now, this often professionally unsung dude is so openly known to cheat on his partner with other dudes it's a friggin' wonder I'm covering up for his droopy ass in my column. It's just that I find outing so unappetizing. So gauche. So none of my biz." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump:

You say: Rocko Turbo: In a landslide, John Travolta. Some connected "Turbo" to Travolta's plane obsession, others associated JT with previous, nasty whispers that his spa etiquette sometimes leaves something to be desired. We don't recall anyone speaking to the "droopy ass" clue in the item, but maybe it was just implicit in your responses. Would it kill the dude to hit the Stairmaster in between these highly theoretical spa trips (which would be frowned upon by the Church of Scientology)?

You also named fellow spa rumor victim Kevin Spacey, as well as a smattering of other actors, none of which we're going to bother to name, other than Robin Williams, because we imagine any manual release involving him would end in that awful Ethel Merman wail he loves so much. You can thank us later for turning you off to handjobs forever.

You say: Croon Whitebread: This one went down to the proverbial wire, but a winner did emerge: John "Your Body Is A Wonderland" Mayer, who we will now have to think of as John "My Body's Up For Watersports" Mayer, even if he is not the actual subject of the item (how could anyone with songs so bland possibly be so kinky?). We'd say that you were all hung up on the "crooning" and the "whitebread" references, but the runner-up was Usher, whom we would not describe as particularly "whitebread." Other shout-outs were thrown to Harry Connick, Jr, (the crooning again), Josh Groban, Kenny G, and ignoring his clear Casablanca "And It Ain't" exemption, Adam Levine of Maroon 5.

And The Andy Dick Memorial "You Also Say" Item Goes To: Dom Deluise and Barry Manilow.

Thanks to everyone for playing!