Today in Terror: You Can Only Trust Your Colombian Drug Lord
Our daily update on THE RETURN OF FEAR was going to focus on this morning's reports of a suspicious package that drew all sorts of police attention around the Price Waterhouse Cooper building at 42nd Street and Madison, but that hullabaloo (predictably and thankfully) turned out to be a big bucket of nothing. Fine by us; we're far more disturbed by an exclusive report from the Post revealing one of Osama Bin Laden's most sinister plans. One year after 9/11, Bin Laden offered tens of millions of dollars to a Colombian drug cartel to purchase tons of cocaine. He planned to spike the drugs with poison and then resell the supply in the United States, thus killing thousands of otherwise innocent hipsters:
The evil plot failed when the Colombian drug lords bin Laden approached decided it would be bad for their business - and, possibly, for their own health, according to law-enforcement sources familiar with the Drug Enforcement Administration's probe of the aborted transaction. [...] Although the drug lords would have reaped millions of dollars in profits by selling the cocaine to bin Laden, they knew that if his plan succeeded it might effectively destroy the market for their coke in America for years, sources said.
We always knew, deep within our hearts, that our dealer was a guardian angel.
