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This week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book goes for the jugular of international media and profiles Sofia Hedstrom, a reporter for a Swedish television show based in our fair city. Don't get your lube out just yet — Sofia's not exactly the girl of your Nordic fantasties. She is, however, a fan of H&M (how patriotic). And, because Sofia's read the August issues of every magazine on the racks right now, she's got a sneaking suspicion that 60s style is going to be popular for fall. Maybe so, but that doesn't excuse her knee socks and Banana shorts. After the jump, Intern Alexis cajoles Nick Sylvester and Hud Morgan into doling out a few pearls of pretty, petty wisdom.

Nick Sylvester, PitchforkPitchfork associate editor
and Village Voice nuisance

The Swedish thing is cute and all, but how can we make Sofia a real New York chick?

Why make Sofia a real New York chick when we can make her a real New York Knick? Either way, the answer is: practice, flashy make-up, and a bag of basketballs hidden under your shirt.

If there are 366 days in a year, what does Sofia wear?

My friend Win Ruml, who often has the same problem, wears a lot of mesh shirts.

Sofia: Pregnant or an unfortunate camera angle? And if she's pregnant, is the underside of the pregnant belly the new cleavage?

You see, I would have never thought that was a baby in there. If you're asking me whether babies make good basketballs, or whether I think using coat hangers to abort perfectly good basketballs is a woman's right, not a privilege, well, let's just say I haven't played sports in a long, long time.

What male newscaster does Sofia sweat? Or is Sofia a lezzy? And if so, which female newscaster does she sweat?

I don't know if he's a newscaster, but I bet she sweats that MSNBC asshole who decided at the last minute I wasn't cut out to argue on national television with the crazy woman who thinks the Harry Potter books propagate witchcraft. Seriously, what the fuck. Definitely a lezzy.


Hudson Morgan, Lloyd Grove's fluffer and Lowdown errand boy

The Swedish thing is cute and all, but how can we make Sofia a real New York chick?

Sofia, my dear, friends don't let friends wear Banana Republic — let's get you to Hollywould or Trina Turk. Also, you might consider changing your name to your orally fixated anagram, Sofi Headstorm. And untie that chastity ribbon! On a sidenote, I think I saw your so-called "Swedish television company" on Robin Byrd alongside an ad for rental Asians.

If there are 366 days in a year, what does Sofia wear?

Just like during her foreign exchange semester at Milton Academy, she trades in the big beads for a pearl necklace in the men's hockey team locker room. And if there are 367 days a year, hopefully she gets her designer imposter hands on some glasses like Uncle Karl's — think more Chanel, less H&M — and checks out what the fuck is going on with her bangs, which appear to have been cut in the dark. By a leper. Homegirl looks like Chloe Sevigny without the Darien pedigree.

Sofia: Pregnant or an unfortunate camera angle? And if she's pregnant, is the underside of the pregnant belly the new cleavage?

Seriously, did she eat her summer intern? With a tummy like that, and maybe some pink Uggs, maybe she too can have rampant, mind-blowing sex with Jude Law. But hey, wearing a sweater-shawl in July is a great way to lose some water weight.

What male newscaster does Sofia sweat?

Greta Van Susteren.

Or is Sofia a lezzy? And if so, which female newscaster does she sweat?

In her Ikea clothing, Sofia sweats, period. For her Sapphic encounters, I wish she would aim for a higher pay grade than newscaster. Say, Oprah?