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Your guesses are in! Wow, y'all are really worked up over this one today. Take another lap around One Confused Blind Vice before moving on:

Ted sez: "Toothy Tile, the rising young male star who secretly likes boys, is creating quite the media sitch. Not only am I told by same-sex inside sources that Mr. T. is still speaking with media representatives about coming out of the closet (much to the dissatisfaction of T.T.'s ten-percent crowd), but poor T. is feeling a tad...pulled." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump.

You say: Due to the sheer volume of responses, it probably wasn't possible to reach unanimity (someone always wants to out their fantasy breeder, even in the face of overwhelming evidence), but we came pretty close today. Will it surprise anyone that you guessed emphatically, repeatedly that Jake Gyllenhaal, on-again-off-again BF of Kirsten Dunst and object of omnisexual lust, is Toothy Tile? We received some pretty amusing responses, but instead we'll focus on Ted's own damning words from the end of the column:

Jake Gyllenhaal, that naughty, naughty boy. The upcoming heartthrob stah of Brokeback Mountain was caught chain-smokin' through that ever adorable grin of his. Sant Ambroesus. West Village. InWhySee. Clad in green shorts and a short-sleeve striped number, Maggie's doable and dimple-gifted bro was having a two-plus-hour din-din with her boyfriend, Peter Sarsgaard, who was sporting jeans and a long-sleeve white tee. Peter Sarsgaard Excuse me? Oh, right. The two dudes are humpy costars in the upcoming Jarhead—along with Jamie Foxx. Too bad Mr. Foxx wasn't around to ham it up with patrons like Jake-doll. J.G. was lovin' every photographin' second. But, hey, he certainly wasn't always that way.

What changed? I mean, ever since he and Kirsten broke up, it's like the cutie-tamootie can't even grab a smoke or munch on a friggin' hot dog without some photographer (or gossip columnist) reporting every delectable puff and mastication.

What a life, eh?

What a life, eh, indeed. It's not like he's got a gossip columnist penning thinly-veiled blind items (seemingly!) about him twice a month.

Even those with blogger attention spans will remember...hey, we've never noticed that tiny mole on the top of our foot before. Cool. What were we saying? Oh, yeah. Ted said that Toothy Tile's "dimples nevertheless remain quite dreamy." That bit about deep-throating a hot dog is quite subtle by comparison.

Some of you (who obviously have advanced marketing degrees and should be hired immediately by studios) noted that it would be quite savvy of the bedimpled, dreamy-eyed Gyllenhaal to tie any kind of coming out story to the release of his gay cowboy movie, Brokeback Mountain. That is, assuming he has anything to come out about. If softpedalling is good enough for E!'s legal department, it's good enough for us!

You also say: Running over well-worn ground, you also threw Orlando Bloom, Chris Klein, Ashton Kutcher, Hayden Christensen, and a host of others under the bi-curious bus. But half-heartedly.

And The Andy Dick "You Also Say" Memorial Item Goes To: Julio Iglesias.

Thanks to everyone for playing!