Friday:
 • Comedians Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford, and Zach Galifianakis come to Irving Plaza tonight to make you laugh as part of their "Comedians of Comedy" show. If you prefer to watch comedians you've actually heard of, go see potty-humor doc The Aristocrats. [flavorpill & Fandango]
• Jonathan and Mrs. Ames (his mother, not his wife) read from their respective works (he from Wake Up, Sir!; she some poetry) at the Astor Place Barnes and Noble at 7pm. Good thing he omitted the story about masturbating in front of his mom from this book. [Paper]
Saturday:
 • Free shows abound, cheapy! Punk rock progenitors MC5 headline a 3pm show at SummerStage; Oneida, Oxford Collapse, Tall Firs, and the Extra Action Marching Band (35 members plus a flag team!) follow up at the East River Amphitheater at 7:30pm. Either/or, you'll be drunk and sweaty. [flavorpill]
• Feel like you saved too much money checking out free shit today? Head on over to Caroline's on Broadway to see Pauly Shore perform. $32 plus a 2 drink minimum. Joke's on you. [Caroline's]
Sunday:
 • Why do you need us to tell you what to do? Go outside, have a long drunken brunch, and fall asleep in the needle-strewn park of your choice.