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The Observer's resident gadfly George Gurley embarks on a literary mini-series, in which he enters couples' therapy with his girlfriend Hilly. Gurley, like many a modern man, knows that his life is better with his beloved but, per usual, he's got marriage issues. What's the problem, George?

In this relationship, my life force is crushed. What happened to my freedom? What happened to my balls? Where d they go? My balls are in her purse. She has confiscated them.

Overshare! (Unless, of course, he's talking about a different type of ball. Which he may be.) The piece continues with a transcript of Gurley's therapy session with Hilly, during which he mostly cringes — as do we, especially when Hilly speaks of Gurley's manly time spent loafing about in his boxers. Next week, perhaps Gurley will find his balls and, God willing, cover them with a nice pair of pants or something.

Should I Get Married? My Hilly Joining Me in Couples Session [Observer]