Annals Of Bad Timing: Sienna Miller Pregnant?
Star, the bastard offspring of a celebrity OB/GYN and a Tourettes-afflicted town crier, adds a potentially exciting new chapter to the storybook romance of Sienna Miller and nanny-impaling fiancée Jude Law by reporting that Miller is a half-dozen weeks pregnant with Law's baby. And to heighten the already crippling drama of the situation, the once-happy couple allegedly announced the pregnancy to their families a mere two days before Law was publicly busted for admitted the extracurricular penetration of his child-care provider. Since all tabloid fetuses are highly theoretical creatures, like six-legged llamas made of white chocolate, the world should hold any judgmental tsk-tsking directed at Law's naughty baby-making boomstick (hasn't he suffered enough?) until next week, when it will almost certainly be posited that the actor has also knocked up the nanny.
In happier news, someone is trying to auction the pool table on which Law and his stroller-pushing strumpet performed a variety of sex acts during the filming of All the King's Men. We bet that if you press your ear to the table's felt, you can hear a chorus of angels singing "Superfreak."
