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The LAT's Restaurant Journal turns in a quick survey of the local patio scene, and like all discussions of what's painfully hot conducted in the last six weeks, this one begins with Amanda Scheer Demme's Star-Fellating Xanadu At The New Scheer/Roosevelt Demme-Hotel:

What's the hottest patio in town? That would be the Tropicana Bar at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, or as the answering machine says, "Amanda Scheer Demme's Tropicana Bar." (When the name-dropping starts that early in the process, we regular Joes know we're in trouble.)

If you haven't heard of it, chances are you're over 35. This is the place where Paris and Nicky, Bruce Willis, Chris Kattan and Kirsten Dunst have been partying of late. It's located poolside at the once again fashionable hotel, and if you want to get in, well, good luck.

Fortunately, there are plenty of restaurants with sizzling patio scenes around town that will be happy to seat you even if your last name isn't Hilton.

The Times is really doing the public a disservice by even recognizing the existence of other patio-haunting options. If you're seen hanging out anywhere but The Trop, your publicist might as well take out a billboard over Sunset depicting your work with last season's lepers.