• The second installment of art exhibit "Drunk vs Stoned" opens today at Gavin Brown's Enterprise, featuring pieces that explore the relative merits of both altered states of mind. Can't make it? It runs till September 7th, culminating in a "Drunk vs Stoned" soccer match. We're pretty sure performance-enhancing substances will be permitted. [flavorpill]
• Dave Eggers and his band of swashbuckling crusaders appear at Housing Works Cafe tonight to speak about their new book Teachers Have it Easy, which discusses how America's teachers are underpaid and underappreciated. True, but at least the pervy ones are getting laid. [Housing Works]
• Punk pioneer priestess Patti Smith performs at Central Park SummerStage tonight. On an unrelated note, it's alliteration day here at Gawker Media. [Summerstage]