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Consider these weekend box office projections as you stare at your watch, convinced that will help you reach beer o'clock a little faster:

1. Four Brothers—$16 million
Will Mark "Please, I Must Insist That You Stop Calling Me Marky Mark, I'm A Star Now" Wahlbeg's action/revenge drama take the weekend? Sure, why not? Money is money, but the film's likely victory still feels like a win-by forfeit in a beer league softball game.

2. Dukes Of Hazzard—$15 million
The appeal of Jessica Simpson's lovingly-photographed hindquarters should fade by about 50 percent in this second weekend of release. Fickle America is ready to savor a new set of buttocks.

3. Wedding Crashers—$13 million
Long after North Korea has nuked us back to a reasonable facsimile of the Stone Age, Wedding Crashers will still lurk in the top five. We're almost positive that we've used this line before, but this kind of dominance is quite resistant to Friday afternoon creativity. (We also fear that we've used this winking disclaimer of our own laziness before, but whatever.)

4. Skeleton Key—$12 million
The presence of Jennifer Connelly, an actress to whom we've built a very tasteful, non-stalkery shrine, wasn't enough to get us to shell out for Dark Water, her recent entry into the serious-actress-slumming-in-horror genre. Doesn't seem like Kate Hudson (no plans for a shrine in the near future, credentials as "serious actress" questionable) trying the same spooky trick is going to work, either.

5. Deuce Bigalow—$10 million
With the incredibly negative reviews of the Bigalow sequel is earning and the easy punchlines the movie will certainly inspire, Rob Schneider had better set aside a considerable part of his acting fee for the year-long series of attack ads he's going to need to buy to satisfy his thirst for payback.