Team Party Crash: Puffy AmiYumi Afterparty

These guys are on a road trip to funkytown. They were detained at the border.

Like The Beatles, Jackson 5, and Harlem Globetrotters before them, Japanese superpop duo Puffy AmiYumi have dropped a dimension to grab for demographics: They've flattened themselves into cartoons. We liked 'em fine when they were just flesh and blood and really, really colorful clothing, but with Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, an animated show on the Cartoon Network, they're taking aim at that college stoner demo you know, the one that would like the Power Puff Girls, if only they were more foreign and sang high-pitched sugary pop music.

Last night they did a concert in New York, somehow tied in with the new cartoon. No one here cared to go to the actual show, but the after-party, well, that was another story. Pervy staff photog Nikola Tamindzic grabbed plucky new Party Crash teammate, the pseudonymous Garrit Fishbaum, and, after the jump, you'll see their night of Asian-fetish fun.

[You can see Nikola's full gallery here.]

We get it. You're a big fan of Puffy. Thanks.

We were looking forward to rubbing up against the staff of Bust magazine, one of the party's sponsors, almost as much as we were excited for the Japanese superstars — we wanted to compare bikini-line tattoos, trade knitting stories, and hear all the gossip from the C-list. But the first actual "fact" we learned all night was that Bust had busted straight home already. Left by 11. Reportedly wasted. At their own damn party! (Apparently post-feminism entails a pre-midnight bedtime?)

The go-go dancer formerly-known-as Lady Liberty, now known as Janice DeMilo.

Animal getting pecked.

This nice, slurry woman approached us with her finger in the air.

"You're Gawker?"

We nod. She squeals.

"I'm Kathryn. Hunt. K, h-u-n-t. Kunt, get it?"

Um, no?

"Jess Coen is the biggest kunt! Get it?"

She says this with love.

"Ah. Yes"

"And make sure you spell it with a 'k'!"

Done.

"Come on, play 'Mambo #5.' It's our favorite."

Sienna's pregnant?!

Puffy AmiYumi's manager, Kaz: "Many fine radies out tonight!"

"Mr Kaz. Can I call you Kaz? Oh, of course, the cartoon on your shirt says so. How helpful. Well, Kaz, I wonder if you could answer some questions about Puff Daddy. I mean Diddy. Surely you've seen the news ah yes. Well the 'P' was getting between him and his fans. Yes, I would say fans I know feel closer already. It's just Diddy, you see, there's no P so they're a lot closer to the Diddy.

"Yes, I know that Puffy AmiYumi used to be called Puffy until then-Puff Daddy took a stand to protect his Puff. I guess what we'd all like to know is, now that Diddy has shed the last vestige of his Puff, are (is?) Puffy AmiYumi ready to reclaim it. The Puff, I mean. Can they ever go back to just Puffy?"

The translator on loan from MTV mumbles in his ear. Kaz smiles big.

"Puffy AmiYumi," he says, and nods.

"Thanks, Kaz."

It's 12:30. Still no sign of Puffy AmiYumi, cartoon or otherwise. We ponder another potential problem: Nothing brings out the sweaty balding fatties like J-pop. And sweaty balding fatties, once arrived, never leave. At least not until everyone else leaves. We get worried.

We try not to be prejudiced. Books not by covers, and guidos not by basketball-jersey-over-white-tee wardrobe. But then we tried for THREE MINUTES to get this guy to say something interesting. No dice.

Unfortunately, these guys were not here to hand out free samples.

Meet Jambo James. Meet his shirt. We asked what it said, and boy were we glad we did.

"It took me a year to figure out. See, Jambo is Swahili for hello, and when Yumi took her trip to Africa ."

He proceeded to talk about Ami's love of screen-printing, and his limited edition EPs not available in the U.S., and on and on and — we couldn't take it any more.

"Look, dude, uh, how about that cartoon, eh? They're girls in that cartoon— pretty sexy, eh? Eh!?"

He sighed, and shook his head.

"I'm 42, a white downtown creative professional. It's a show for 12-year-old girls. It's not aimed at me."

Man, nothing comes easy tonight.

He dropped his iPod on the subway a few weeks ago, and he just... flipped.

The last straw was when he offered to show us his Hello Kitty underwear.

BMX champion.

The BMX champ was actually a pretty nice fella. Possibly a strong indicator of a lame party: Even the extreme-sports guy has nothing but nice things to say about everyone. And even he is eyeballing the exit. He showed us his scars. They were, indeed, extreme.

Amylu, the party's promoter, who is perfectly sweet but shouldn't make Puffy promises that she can't keep.

The Manhattan Bridge troll ventured far for his prey tonight. Go-go dancers are easy kills for him, as they are already bored into submission.

The flyer said Sean and Yoko. We got Ed and Yoko.

Ed was dancing, by himself, for half an hour before we approached him.

"Ed, what is written on your shirt, and is that Elmer's Glue with glitter coated on it?"

Ed, delighted, announced that it's Japanese for "Roommate Wanted." On the back it reads, "I have a GIGANTIC APARTMENT." Ed was trying to be funny. By the end of the night, there were eight people scheduled to come see the place.

This girl just ate a whole Pokemon.

By 1 a.m., the Beauty Bar is still entirely Puffy-free. In fact, it's increasingly female-free. Brooding, shifty glances come our way from bulky figures in dark corners. The go-go dancers are still going, but, of course, they're getting paid for this. We sure as hell were not. And so we leave.

The next morning we learn that Puffy AmiYumi never showed. Apparently they were already on their way to an anime convention in Baltimore. We did not know of this convention. Serves us right for not reading Time Out Baltimore.