This image was lost some time after publication.

Defamer is committed to helping its readers find exciting opportunities in the celebrity pet-pampering field. We realize that this ad is almost certainly the product of an anonymous Craigslist jokester, but if nothing else, it's a fitting reminder that we're all just one wipe of a spoiled shit-tzu's ass from that coveted and elusive three-picture deal:

I own a dog park in the vacinity for A list dogs and I need a new pooper scooper. Last guy I had quit for no reason - he said it wasn't his style. Ok, we get Steven's dogs and Harvey's dogs and so many cool dogs, you couldn't believe - so there is room for a little socializing. But just a little - tact, grace, and charm are needed for this gig. I do it up real nice for the dogs. It's like a country club for dogs and their handlers. Everyone loves it and everyone should. Some of our A listers have strange demands and I am morally forbidden to say who - but some want their dogs' asses wiped after a bowel movement.

It's expected. Some are totally organic, Whole Foods and don't care; but those that do, demand the courtesy and respect from my scooper that only people of that caliber should. Anyway, the last guy I had on doo doo patrol always got around to wiping the asses of the wrong dogs and then totally ignoring the dogs who needed the wipe. Can you imagine! The nerve, he was such an idiot. Some of our members want their doggy excrement bagged up and recycled. He couldn't handle this task either. Some want their dog doo bagged up and carefully placed in the cooler of their Range Rover so they can bring it home for fertilizer. Rich people are cheap. We differentiate ourselves by the level of service and accomodations we provide. At 25K to join and monthly dues of $5500, our members can have anything they want. The operation is totally first class.

Even if such a magical place and the accompanying shit-collecting jobs didn't exist before, they almost certainly will now. There are just too many deals to be made while hovering over a squatting poodle for this kind of idea to be squandered.