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Olympic-level hotel phone-putter Russell Crowe might have bought off settled with the concierge on the receiving end of his infamous telephone love-tap for a reported six-figure sum, but that hasn't made his legal problems disappear. Crowe's legal team is trying to help the actor avoid the highly inconvenient, career-hampering jail time and other assorted problems a pesky assault conviction might carry:

In an interview published by The Bulletin magazine, Crowe said his lawyers are working to have the felony charge reduced to a less serious misdemeanor.

But even that could lead to immigration hassles, Crowe said.

"Every time I apply for a visa, it's like you need a suitcase into the embassy," he said, referring to the amount of paperwork required. "So to add this charge, even as a misdemeanor level ... basically stops me getting certain types of visa."

Crowe, who has a history of explosive outbursts, said he is prepared to accept his fate.

"If I'm an international menace like the (prosecuting) attorney is suggesting, then fine," Crowe said from his home in Sydney. "I'll just stay here."

We hope that Crowe's lawyers have the foresight to carry that suitcase into the embassy for him; one too many paperwork-related hassles, and some unfortunate visa clerk could find himself with a Zero Halliburton-assisted concussion. Those government offices are notorious for their poor customer service skills.