Renee Zellweger's Been Defrauded: UPDATE
Since People rushed to be the first to inform a largely ambivalent world that the blink-and-you-missed-it blessed union of skeletal on-screen pouter Renee Zellweger and cowboy hat model Kenny Something, the AP story about the break-up revealed that the court papers cited "fraud" (without any elaboration) as Zellweger's cause for filing the for the annulment. So many big questions are raised by such a little word: "Is Chesney a gay?" "Did Zellweger's publicists determine that Chesney's people misrepresented his level of fame while they were in negotiations to arrange the marriage?" "If we drink every cleaning product we find under the sink, will our death be swift and painless?" We suppose we'll have to wait until the papers are leaked or otherwise made public before we get to find out. In the meantime, we're going to go find out what those amazing scrubbing bubbles feel like as they work their way down the esophagus.
UPDATE: Trying to head off rumors at the pass, a Zellweger statement clarifies that "fraud" is "simply legal language and not a refection of Kenny's character...I would personally be very grateful for your support in refraining from drawing derogatory, hurtful, sensationalized or untrue conclusions." Thanks for clearing that up, Kenny's publicists! All that nasty speculation should immediately dissipate following such a definitive statement.