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The Blind Item answers have been tabulated, and the results may shock those of you who are easily shocked.

Number One, the comedian who couldn't afford the hot girlfriend's pole-dancing lessons: The winner by popular vote was creepy uncle Bill Maher — we note without comment that he was romantically linked to Ann Coulter, but advise you to think of that no further. David Spade and Jimmy Kimmel also got a couple votes. Adding further grist to the libel mill, one emailer wrote that it was "drew carey, who previously paid college tuition for a stripper, who then dumped him." Oh, and it wouldn't be a blind item without someone answering Andy Dick.

Number Two, the Italian fashion designer who can afford to repeatedly sleep with his flacks: All over the map. Luca Orlandi and Roberto Cavalli split the prize, neither goes home satisfied. One vote for Armani, and lots of votes for "there are straight fashion designers?"

Number Three, the Ex-Lax guzzling starlet: Tara Tara Tara! Also-rans: Jenny McCarthy, Denise Richards. One vote for Ryan Seacrest (burn!!)

Just Asking [Page Six]
Earlier:
 Blind Item Guessing Game: Pole-Dancing Slutty Designers With Diuretic Issues [Gawker]