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• Nicole Richie may know "what she did" to Paris Hilton, but she also knows "that Paris loves to talk about it and that stuff, but that's just not my style." If Richie's taking the high road, it totally tests the nature of the universe. [E!]
• Tim Robbins proves that celebrities aren't cut out for service work with a shameful bartending performance at the LES's Back Room. [Page Six]
• George Clooney talks about shooting spinal fluid from his nose, thus securing his slot as People's sexiest old man alive. [Scoop]
• Law and Order: Criminal Intent actor Vincent D'Onofrio fights for a man's right to watch hardcore porn in his trailer. A champion for human rights, indeed. [Lowdown]
• Leslee Dart, heroine of the PR world, continues to poach warm bodies from her mentor, Pat Kingsley. [Page Six]
• Los Angeles club Mood cancels plans to host actress Gabrielle Union's birthday party after learning that she's black. It's nice to see that after all these years, people can finally be honest about their racism. Rosa Parks would be proud. [R&M]