In this edition of Gawker Stalker: Judith Miller, Matt Damon, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Padma Lakshmi, Mike Myers, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Gemma Ward, Bono, Helena Christensen, Val Kilmer, Liev Schreiber, Sean Connery, Stephen Baldwin, Nick Stahl, Talib Kweli, Diane Keaton, Ja Rule, Marcia Cross, Diana Williams, Stanley Tucci, Steve Buscemi, Al Sharpton, Ralph Lauren, Giselle B ndchen, Keri Russell, The Kid from About a Boy (now 6 2 !), Nicholas Cage Michael Caine, Seann William Scott, Ken Burns, Gilbert Gottfried, Nicky Hilton, Star Jones, Wayne Knight, Jack Osbourne, and Damian Young.

I totally saw Judy Miller at a string quartet concert at Zankel Hall (in the basement of Carnegie hall) Friday night. She was short, and looks just like she does on TV: helmet hair, black pantsuit, and high squeaky voice. Ironically, the program was Beethoven Op.133 and Shostakovich no. 15, the quartets that marked the end of each composer's career. She hung out with a group of friends away from the crowds during intermission. At the end of the concert she and her date (her husband? it was some old dude, I dunno) jammed into the elevator as it was closing, making us wait as a dozen more people piled into the elevator before we could go up. Pretty annoying.

Saw Matt Damon (well, I like to think that Matt Damon saw me, and I caught him looking) on Broadway between 86th and 87 on Sunday afternoon. The trailers have been there since early last week what was new that day (other than Matt's decidedly hot, 1950s-styled self) was a sign on one of the trailers that read, "Luna C. Asylum ... We have bunkers if you are bonkers."

My husband was lunching at New York's DB Bistro Moderne today (1pm) and saw Tom Hanks having lunch with Rita Wilson!!! No entourage present. He said Tom seemed affable, but looked older in person than on screen. His hair was long and pushed back (probably for the Da Vinci Code movie?). Also seen at The Weatherman premiere at Jazz at Lincoln Center last night, 10/24: the ridiculously stunning, thin, and tall (not to mention much younger) wife of Islam blasphemist Salman Rushdie, former Miss World Padma Lakshmi. Wow. Could I have used any more descriptors for her?

Two gawk-inducing sightings on Saturday, Oct. 22! First, saw Mike Myers walking with head down, looking normal but self-conscious, on Bleecker and Bank Street. Then, at Ted Baker in SoHo, I was fawning over an adorable pug that was sporting a pearl collar (only in NYC, I was thinking) when I realize the person holding the leash is Jessica Alba! She was dressed down but rocking a blingy pair of diamond earrings and was all lovey-dovey with very cute boyfriend Cash Warren, who was shopping for pants. They both seemed happy and were nice to the salespeople who confirmed it was indeed her when I harassed them with an "OMG, was that Jessica Alba?!" An impossibly beautiful model Gemma Ward (the bug-eyed one in every single ad) strolling down Prince St. on Friday afternoon. She was tall, had a great complexion and oh so skinny, skinny, skinny. A few heads turned, but she kept her cool and kept on walking.

I was having dinner at La Bottega at the Maritime last night when Bono came in with a group of people. He made a lot of noise and grabbed the asses of two of the girls he was with, clearly wanting to be noticed. If you create an almost cartoon-character-like stage persona, do you really want to play the part all the time? He had the goofy glasses and a white cowboy hat on , etc.... He appeared to be drunk or really happy about something and the party settled into a large table of about 8 or 10. Then Helena Christensen arrived. She always looks like someone just squirted her in the face with a lemon, but it works. Beautiful. She was with an older woman, possibly her mother? I went downstairs to Hiro to hang with my friends. Everyone was talking about Madonna arriving at 11:30. I was a little sad to realize that I didn't care and went home. Wow. Madonna doesn't even do it for me anymore!

10/21 Saw a very blonde Val Kilmer on 61st right outside of the Pierre Hotel. He was walking arm and arm with a curly haired brunette - no model type, nothing special. I pointed him out to my friend who made the stupid mistake of smiling at him. He looked her in the face and scowled, naturally.

I saw Liev Schreiber outside The Grey Dog's Coffee on Carmine Street yesterday morning as I was heading to work. He was looking kinda scruffy - holding a coffee, talking on his cell phone and had a dog tied to a bench next to him. Not sure if the dog was his. He seemed to be purposely looking away from people every time someone passed him. Or maybe he was just looking away from me....

Coming out of Whiskey Blue the other night I spied Sean Connery and a woman I guessed to be his wife. If only I was a bit more tipsy I would have grabbed her and done an intervention on the spot. "Is he still a wife beater?" "Why don't you leave him when he cheats on you all the time?" "How come he hasn't done a good film in 25 years?" "What do you see in a bald pig like him?" Yes, those questions would have gone her way if only I had one more drink in me.

Saw Stephen Baldwin and an unidentified male accomplice at Ruby Foo's in Times Square. He was wearing some swanky designer jeans and a rockstar shirt complete with lightly greased and heavily combed thinning hair. Mr. Baldwin was exceedingly gracious and pleasantly funny with those who recognized him.
Seeming very drugged out, my friend went to talk to him and say what a big fan he was, and Nick Stahl replied, "but I'm so SMALL". Bizarre.

So, another night trying to shill for my comedy, another round of stalking. On Monday (10/24) I saw Talib Kweli walking by The Virgin Megastore in Times Square. Later that night (around 11pm) passed the Roundabout Theatre and saw Rachel Dratch with a mom type. We made eye contact and she looked a little freaked.

Friday night I saw Diane Keaton (sans gloves) at the Broadway show The Light In the Piazza , she was looking nuts, as usual, in an oversized wide striped gray and black sweater corseted with a big 80 s belt, a mini-skirt, red pumps and Christmas socks. Yes gray Christmas socks. She was there with a young lady who I assumed to be her daughter (?) or more likely her handler. I followed that up with some dessert at mid-town s finest meat market, Del Frisco s, where I was surprised to find that Ja Rule was dining with his posse at about 11. He looked like any other washed up pseudo-hip hop star with a hat cocked to the side.

Saw Marcia Cross from DH shopping on 5 at Bergdorfs Saturday. She is VERY tall and THIN, THIN, THIN. Her skin is sooo white and wrinkle free—she's like an ad for staying out of the sun. Her hubby to be is also quite nice looking. Went up to tell her I loved her show (and as a teacher, I KNOW those women and I teach their kids!) She was very nice and very gracious and didn't seem to mind my stalkerish ways.

Apparently Pastis hasn't lost some of its luster. Friday, October 21 ABC's Diana Williams dined with a group of female friends. They seemed to be having a delightful time, and she's as stunning in person as she is on TV. Also spotted Stanley Tucci looking very dapper in a suit, collared shirt, and no tie.

Saw Steve Buscemi walking up Fulton Street in Brooklyn right in front of the BAM Harvey theater. He was with a big group of people - some of whom may have been famous, but I didn't notice because I was too busy realizing that he's actually really sexy.

Spotted Saturday night: Rev. Al Sharpton on U.S. Airways flight from Charlotte, NC to LaGuardia. We saw him up in first class from our 15th-row coach seats as we were waiting to deboard, and unintentionally trailed him to the exit. He was accompanied by a tall man (bodyguard?) in a trench coat, claimed no baggage, walked immediately to his Mercedes-in-waiting outside and was whisked off into the rainy night.

Saw Ralph Lauren at the double RL store in Nolita on Friday, Oct 21. We saw a bodyguard standing on the corner holding a big umbrella and my friend said, "hm, I wonder what celeb is in that store?" we glanced back and saw the man himself. He looked good.

Around 2 p.m. on my way to Ricky's NYC, I saw supermodel Giselle B ndchen waiting to cross the street at the corner of Sixth Avenue and 11th Street. She was toting a Ricky's shopping bag. Smiling, I waved and she did the same in return. What a sweetie. For those that are wondering, I'm told she purchased a Zorro costume.

I just saw Keri Russell at Bloomies in Midtown at 3pm. She looked absolutely gorgeous, no make-up and her hair in pigtail buns. Was with some Orlando Bloom-ish type guy on the second floor, near Theory. Wondering why she would want to deal with the Sunday crowds, and isn't she supposed to be filming Mission Impossible III? Nonetheless, she blended in with the crowd as a normal shopper. We still love you Felicity!

I was at The Weatherman premiere party at Jazz at Lincoln Center last night and saw the following: Nicholas Hoult-the kid from About a Boy who is now like 6'2". Nice kid. Not even 16 yet so he looks like a pubescent beanstalk. Nicholas Cage sporting the ALWAYS unattractive moustache with his barely legal Korean wife in tow. He also had a bunch of geishas (don't know the Korean equivalent of Japanese geishas-sorry) around his table as well. Michael Caine was very nice and gracious and looks good for being in his early 70s. He even went to the buffet table by himself instead of having some obnoxious handler demand food for him. Seann William Scott acting as his usual cheesy self. He was making lame jokes and just looked like a general ass. His face is way too square jawed too. Could be Mariel Hemingway's son.

Saw documentary filmmaker, Ken Burns and family at Gramercy Park Antiques Show on Saturday cute baby looks just like him. Bette Midler was there too she looks pretty good.

I saw Gilbert Gottfried walking down 7th (around 23rd) on Monday afternoon, and he is an adorable tiny man who I want to carry piggyback-style and take to work, so he can blow out the eardrums of my coworkers. He was wearing a knit hat and puffy jacket, like a little girl from the 80's.

Don't know if this is too late, but on 10/21 saw a very blond Nicky Hilton with extended gawking posse at Marquee. Also on site was, um, The Rock...looking very tanned and unbuttoned. He had a table with his press entourage (seriously).

Sunday I was at brunch with friends at Sarabeth's (on Madison and 93rd) and guess who was sitting in the table behind us? Star Jones! She looked kind of like a deflated version of how I imagined her to look. She was there with her emasculated husband and another friend having brunch.

I attended the Cream show at Madison Square Garden on 10/24 with my parents. We exited down several flights of fire stairs and I became separated from my father. When he finally emerged from the door into the lobby of MSG, he was smiling and pointing at the man in front of him: Wayne Knight (Newman from Seinfeld). I'm sure Mr. Knight was just unobtrusively trying to get home, a quest that was interrupted when my father pointed again and yelled "Seinfeld!" Massive embarrassment aside, a good sighting, and I hope Mr. Knight enjoyed the concert as much as we did.

On Friday night, saw super skinny Jack Osbourne and D-list Don Juan Jon Farb at Lucky Strike. Hard to tell whether they were together or not. Jack Ended up leaving after a drink and Farb sat down in the back.

While trekking down to the Apple Store to buy myself a new iPod last Wednesday (10/19), I shared a trip on the R from 23rd to Prince St. with Damian Young, who played Valerie Cherish's husband (Lisa Kudrow) on HBO's The Comeback. He was very demure reading a copy of the Post, but looked Hollywood with aviator glasses hung on the collar. Also wearing some Ben Sherman canvas shoes with the targets on them. Don't know if he lives in New York or not but certainly acted like a local.