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Welcome to the premiere edition of Defamer Instant Message Theater (DIM Theater for short). On the bill today is the classic tragedy No Entrance, wherein two peons, the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the studio lot if you will, share news of the Queens arrival, only to be turned away by an ignorant castle guardsman:

Sony Employee (10:11:49 AM): haha. Angelina Jolie just showed up to shoot Beowulf and someone forgot to give her a drive-on...and dude at the gate wouldn't let her in.
Me* (10:12:11 AM): haha
Me (10:12:20 AM): awesoeme- how did that get around?
Sony Employee (10:12:56 AM): because the Front desk is two doors down and I can hear them talking to security
Me (10:13:10 AM): oh shit!
Me (10:13:13 AM): sweet
Sony Employee (10:13:16 AM): way to lose an 8/hr job man
Me(10:13:30 AM): him or the person who forgot to give her the pass?
Me (10:13:38 AM): if he didn't recognize her its not his fault
Sony Employee (10:13:39 AM): probably both
Sony Employee (10:13:50 AM): who doesn't recognize angelina jolie??
Me (10:13:51 AM): i'd give him a raise...
Sony Employee (10:13:57 AM): haha
Me (10:14:02 AM): ... for not reading US weekly or watching Extra like every other loser in america
Me (10:14:16 AM): (or for being able to survive under that rock of his)
Sony Employee (10:14:07 AM): true
Sony Employee (10:14:18 AM): ok, back to the grind

Of course, we all know how it ends. The Queen eventually gains access, then sleeps with her brother, the Duke, wherein the jealous King slays her in a fit of rage and crawls back to his first cast-off bride, a popular comic thespian, who turns him away, having finally found true happiness posing for surveillance portraiture with her new lover, the court jester. In every way, a tale for the ages. Until next time, this has been DIM Theater. Fare thee well.

*'Me' refers to the contributing playwright, not your Defamer guest editor.