Sightings are sent in by alcoholic, possibly hallucinating readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

In this rather pedestrian edition: Anderson Cooper dines with Boyfriend at La Esquina; Alanis Morisette, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Shannen Doherty dine at Hiro; Uma Thurman, Jared Leto, David Schwimmer, Rita Wilson, Matt Damon and Simon Doonan running (separately), Luke Wilson, Kanye West, Richard Gere, Mariah Carey, Martha Stewart, Brooke Shields, Valentino, Karl Lagerfeld, Gina Gershon, Fisher Stevens, Diddy, Fred Armisen and Martha Plimpton, Norah Jones, Michael Kors, Sam Shepard, Emmylou Harris, Janet Reno, Erika Christensen, Joshua Jackson, Jann Wenner, Steve Van Zandt, and Don King.

My wife and I just got back from Holiday in Oaxaca, Mexico. We walked around The Corner this past Sunday (10/30/05) and ran into Anderson Cooper ... and his Boyfriend. They were there for Dia de los Muertos. (The Day of the Dead...No, no Aaron Brown Costumes sighted unfortunately.)

Last night at Hiro saw Alanis Morisette, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Shannen Doherty, who was incredibly and unexpectedly tiny. Her feet were like two inches long and I was scared she would tip over for lack of balance. I thought about slapping her to see if she'd hit me back and we could both be on Page Six or something. The weirdest thing was, her man-protector was on the walkie-talkie making sure her car was outside, and he said "I have Michelle Trachtenberg waiting for pick-up." But it was undoubtedly Doherty, witnessed & confirmed by everyone around me. Heh. Oh, and her dress was horrendously tacky.

11/2, at Union square farmer's market amid the apples saw extremely blond young boy rambunctiously bothering his nanny. As I was thinking, "kids in New York are such fucking brats," I heard a woman's voice loudly say, "be careful please." I turned to see who this mother that actually helped her nanny control her brats was and saw Uma Thurman, who was looking wonderful and very tall as always. She had on a huge sorta awkward Louis Vutton backpack and was pushing a stroller. Also have to note that her nanny is short and old and something tells me that smart Uma aint ever gonna loose a nanny to her man.

Wednesday afternoon (11/2), I passed by jean clad, Yankee cap wearing Jared Leto on Wall Street. Not sure what kind of business an actor/musician would have in the financial district but maybe he was hitting the tourist spots. Very good looking but not very tall.

Eating lunch at Caf
Habana just a moment ago
. When a very scruffy but adorable David Schwimmer walked in with 4 other pals (another blond curly haired actor was in his posse, don
t know his name)! The stunning hostess told them that would have our table when we were finished
so in an unusual reverse stalking move they proceeded to stare us down until

Spotted Rita Wilson last night at Sweeney Todd (11/01) sitting in the 6th row. She looked amazing- very hip and much younger than I expected. Her hair is long in a Sheryl Crow sort of way. She was wearing a cropped blazer and dark jeans cuffed to show her fantastic gold heels. A huge diamond cross hung from her neck. She was with a woman and a man - no Tom in sight. During intermission she high-fived the man when they both said they felt like salmon making their way through the crowd to the bathroom. I didn't want to tell her that they looked more like sardines, but whatever.

In a weird double header of jogging: I saw Simon Doonan jogging south on Lafayette Tuesday around 6pm. On Wednesday I saw Matt Damon jogging north on Lafayette. Matt seems to be around here a lot will Damon on Lafayette sightings be banned soon?

Spotted Luke Wilson at the Borders in the Time Warner center purchasing a whole pile of stuff, including a hardcover tome. no one seemed to recognize him since he was dressed as an old man in a black windbreaker and brown pants and shoes combo. He was also with a lady friend who was decked out in autumnal colors.

I just saw Kanye West on Houston & Greene (apparently he lives there?). He was with just a couple of production assistants and a guy with a small camera who was filming him walking along the street. No one even seemed to notice it was him!

Tuesday, Nov. 1st: Richard Gere and his former model/wife Carey Lowell at the Bee Season premiere/after party at the IFC Waverly Theater. He's looking pretty old. He would have a tough time snagging Julia Roberts off Sunset Blvd. these days.

Just saw Mariah Carey in the lobby of my building
101 Hudson Street in Jersey City. She was stopping by for something or other to do with Z100. The station is on the 49th floor
.She
s definitely seen better days. Up close she looks like a high-end drag queen
her wig made her look seven feet tall and she had a the tiniest piece of clothing on; more appropriate for the bedroom than for a radio station drive-by.

Watched Martha Stewart (and her right shoulder supervisor/publicist Susan Magrino) get mobbed for photos and handshakes and signatures at the Michelin guide party at the Guggenheim last night. At some point a young journalist with a huge piece of recording equipment approached Martha and shoved the microphone into Martha
s face and was quickly ushered away with a lot of admonishing looks from Susan.

Just saw a stage makeup-ed Brooke Shields on 49th St, down the block from "Chicago". She was, as would be expected, tall, thin, and beautiful.

Halloween night brought out the scarrrry celebs and the not-so-dressed up fashionables at Matsuri... Valentino arrived with a small entourage, as did Lagerfeld. Neither of them dressed up (oh wait they're always dressed up)...nor did they speak to another. Gina Gershon and Fisher Stevens dined with a large party next to Sante D'orazio and his beautiful crew. Sante brought P.Diddy aka Puffy aka Sean John
aka.....who came in dressed as Darth Vader and made the party atmosphere a tad more raucous when he took off his mask at the pleading of some unwitting guests....

I saw Fred Armisen and Martha Plimpton on the 1 train going from 86th street to Times Square Sunday night Oct 30. They were holding hands the whole time and they were kissing in between conversations.

I was sitting in Handsome Band-land on my Jet Blue (yes, Jet Blue; Norah Jones must be banking her platinum bucks) flight from San Francisco to New York tonight. Norah Jones was in the middle seat right in front of me, next to her bf the cute bassist songwriter dude, and her Asian back up singing wind instrument playing friend and her own hot drummer boyfriend were next to me. (How do I know the role of each when I
to put it kindly—m not a huge fan of easy listening? I ID-ed them on Jones' website post-flight.) Anyway little (soooo little!) Miss Jones couldn't have been prettier, nicer or more down-to-earth seeming, not that we talked or anything. But she did wish her other seatmate good luck with his impending baby on her way off the plane. And she drank cranberry with seltzer, for you psychofans.

Saw Michael Kors at, no surprise here, the Rufus Wainwright concert on 11/1. He's chubby and had a bit of stubble. Was with some tall, skinny, greasy (younger) guy and they had a hard time finding their seats, which ended up being in the 4th row or thereabouts.

Just quit my job and so now I get to see what goes on outside of conference rooms during the day. Immediate gratification came this morning in the form of Sam Shepard, who came in and sat next to me at 'Ino. He was dressed exactly as you would expect - leather jacket, corduroy shirt, jeans - and looked to be in pretty good shape for an old guy. I guess I should come up with something snarky to say about him, but he was super nice to everyone, and how do you make fun of a guy who is a Pulitzer Prize winning playwright AND a legit (although dated) movie star?

Last night, saw Emmylou Harris waiting to go backstage after Rufus Wainwright's concert. Girl was lookin' good! As per usual, Rufus was lookin' fine too, rocking a necklace that would make (P?) Diddy's bling look like it was from a Stop 'n Shop vending machine.

I just saw Janet Reno, of all people, at Yogurt Place on Sullivan St.! She was very friendly and polite, and she was wearing super bright pink lipstick. I also saw Erika Christensen (from Traffic) in some Asian diner on Carmine Street yesterday afternoon. She thought I was checking her out, but I was really just trying to get a look at the menu, which she was sitting directly behind. Anyway, Janet Reno!!!

I saw Pacey (Joshua Jackson) around 9:15 AM this morning riding on the L train towards Manhattan looking a little chubby and scruffy...looked worthy of "walk-of-shame" status.

Wed. Nov. 2: At the DVD release party for George Harrison's A Concert for Bangladesh (1971, also at the IFC Waverly Theater. The guest list was lily white (not a brown skinned person in sight) and I'm convinced no one in the room even knew where the fuck Bangladesh was! Pint-sized Mr. Clean tyrant/media mogul Jann Wenner (The man is seriously small and has one of those "pushed-in" looking faces.) He was there with longtime partner, fashion designer Matt Nye and Wenner's youngest son. I saw him meticulously brush crumbs off the cocktail table in that OCD way that he's so lovingly known for. One of his Rolling Stone's underlings, the painfully untalented music critic Joe Levy was also there as was perennially bad dresser Steve Van Zandt with his requisite hijab/headscarf concoction. A token bimbo blonde was at his side as well. Why do they call him Little Steve when he's not's tiny at all? Maybe it refers to his endowment or lack thereof.

I just missed the most recent edition, but I have the most awesome triad of D-or-worse-list celebrity sightings ever! Put these in your pipe and smoke 'em, suckas: Walking through Roc Center (10/31), I see some big, frizzy hair (to be fair, who doesn't in that tourist-infested place?), but this is not your average mullet or Texas hair, it's Don King! He was greeted by a family and seemed very willing to talk to them — or perhaps make them champions and steal all their money. The next day, I was walking around the Theater District and saw Blair from Road Rules (whom I heart) walking out of MTV studios. Then, while actually stalking my quasi-friend Jai Rodriguez at his first night as Carmen Ghia in The Producers, we went to slip a note to one of the ushers, and who does it turn out to be? Duncan "Karate-Chopped by Oprah" Nutter from Showbiz Moms and Dads. Reality stars unite!