How Not to Pitch Rolling Stone, by Peter Braunstein
We received an interesting email thread yesterday from a former editor at Rolling Stone. This then-editor had the misfortune of fielding pitches from alleged rapist and former freelancer Peter Braunstein:
This email string started with some pitches from Peter (that I accepted as a favor for the poor girl who was dating him at the time).
From: RS Editor To: Peter Braunstein
Peter, thanks for your interest in Rolling Stone. Unfortunately, I'll have to pass on the Columbine story. Keep us in mind in the future.
And how do you think Peter took the news? Read on for the professionally-cracked rage.
From: Peter Braunstein
To: RS Editor
This is baffling. Have you looked into lithium? Wherever I worked, be it at WWD, W, Village Voice, etc., my stuff has always caught buzz. The only reason I pitched RS is because my girlfriend suggested it. It's a pretty mathematical equation: I m a great writer, RS needs great writers because it doesn't have any. Thanks for the Opity [sic], but with two book contracts under my belt for this year, I kinda have the feeling that I'm going to accomplish more in the next 12 months than you will in your entire sad-assed life.
-Peter
From: RS Editor
To: Peter Braunstein
Peter, I get 50 pitches a day and I respond to every one of them. Because I want to. And because it's what I'm paid to do. Though I'm certain you're the best writer in NYC, I feel sorry for you. First you get sacked for being a complete loser and then you bad mouth this magazine because your story ideas are complete shit. Anyway, thanks and keep that magic coming. We're bound to win an ASME or two with you on the case. Now, go fuck yourself.
Oh, Mr. Editor, we really wish you hadn't responded like that.
