In her latest review of the New York Times Book Review, Intern Alexis finally gets that which she's been waiting for: an appropriate opportunity to give cranky reviewer Joe Queenan a swift kick in his unfunny pants. She also champions the underdog, reminding Review readers of the artistry of Us Weekly insta-book writers Mara Reinstein and Joey Bartolomeo, all the while questioning the necessity of vomit omelets. After the jump, Alexis fights for your right to a decent Review.

Generation RX
 By Greg Critser
Reviewed by Joe Queenan

Don't get us wrong, we love a superfluous pop culture metaphor — like Donald Trump loves firing people, like Judy Miller loves not revealing her sources, like Brad Pitt loves fucking Angelina Jolie, if you will. However, we don't love really retarded ones! In our ongoing quest to call out Joe Queenan when he's not being terribly funny (A.J. Jacobs 4-eva!) we present you with some grade-A meat. In his review of Greg Critser's pharmaceutical company tell-all, "Generation Rx," Joe Q. writes: "Despite the book's title, the triumph of 'big pharma' is yet another national tragedy, like Michael Flatley's career, that can be laid directly at the feet of baby boomers."

Holy shit, sign this guy up for a slot at the UCB Theatre. STAT! And furthermore, is Michael Flatley really a baby boomer problem? We love tapping, for sure, but he seems more like a symptom of a larger, post-IRA era....


The First Lady of Hollywood
 By Samantha Barbas
Reviewed by Mark Lewis

Sometimes we think we're the wrong, wrong lady for this job. What made us question ourselves and our place in the world was the opening of Mark Lewis's "Nonfiction Chronicle" review of Samantha Barbas's new book "The First Lady of Hollywood: A Biography of Louella Parsons." He writes: "Everybody knows about Brad Pitt leaving Jennifer Aniston, but nobody associates a particular byline with the story." He goes on, "That was hardly the case when the gossip columnist Louella Parsons revealed that Mary Pickford would divorce Douglas Fairbanks, or that Ingrid Bergman would have Roberto Rossellini's baby."

Now, most NYTBR readers would probably rub their beards, take another puff from their pipes, shake their heads knowingly, scratch their balls and move on. As for us, we were all, "Ingrid BergWHAT? Douglas FairWHO?" And, what do you MEAN no one associates a particular byline with the Brad and Jen story? Have you not heard of two young fearless women named Mara Reinstein and Joey Bartolomeo? And a celebrity weekly called US Weekly? And a little book called "Brad and Jen: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood's Golden Couple" ? Wrong, wrong lady


Crap Cars
 By Richard Porter
Reviewed by Roy Blount Jr.

The New York Times Book Review refuses to acknowledge the existence of Reinstein and Bartolomeo, but they'll devote three quarters of a page to a book called "Crap Cars?" And publish these two sentences:

I do wish Porter hadn't likened the Suzuki X-90 (1996-98) to "a vomit omelet," because I can't get that epithet out of my head. But judging by the photograph (in which the car is set against a red-rock butte), he is not overstating the case by much.

Would you like a fart sandwich with your vomit omelet? How'd you like to wash it down with a semen milkshake? Ahh fuck it, we'll be seeing YOU, "Crap Cars," in the clearance bin at Urban Outfitters!