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Honestly, we have spent the past 24 hours mulling over former New York Press owner Russ Smith's Mugger column in the alt-weekly's latest issue, in which he details the sale of Gawker Media to the New York Times Company for $32 million. As this is utterly ridiculous and unequivocally not true, we imagine Smith intended the piece as some sort of quasi-parody.

But we can't look away from Smith's column, and it's not because we think it's particularly insightful or witty or even otherwise worth discussion. We're fascinated, quite frankly, because we don't get it. Not one bit, and not even after five or six reads.

The absurdity of the piece would suggest Smith had written a satire, which we'd absolutely love, but the dearth of jokes and the interweaving of random, real-life details undermines any higher sense of humor. In which case, the column is not some ill-conceived parody — it's just absolutely insane.

And so, like we said, we've spent the past day or so wondering how to address this oddity, or whether we should address it at all. We tend to ignore the homeless crazies on our front stoop, and so we're inclined to extend the same courtesy to Smith. Then again, we also know the homeless crazies ultimately need our help, and maybe we should stop once in a while and look them in the eye. So, yeah: You feeling OK, Russ?

Junior Says Uncle. Can Gawker Save the Times? [NY Press]