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• First twin Jenna Bush loses her wallet, complete with a shitload of cash, at Lower East Side hipster den Happy Endings. Apparently the innocent girl was merely fleeing someone's greasy advances. The poor thing just can't have a peaceful night hanging out by the venue's bathrooms, can she? [Page Six]
• Contrary to other reports (reprinted here, to boot), former HarperCollins PR director Paul Crichton did not leave under investigation for unauthorized spending. Like any good overlord, Judith Regan just prefers to smear him as such. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• The assumedly faux TomKat wedding registry at Neiman Marcus just might be real. How painfully budget. [Scoop]
• Bungalow 8 gatekeeper Armin Ariri now has an acting career, presumably because some ugly producer just wanted to get past the velvet rope. [Page Six]
• Actress Heather Locklear and Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora may be headed for divorce, perhaps because Locklear refuses to try for another child in lieu of reviving her career. As if there were any hope after LAX. [R&M]