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Russell Crowe was not present at Sunday night's Museum of the Moving Image tribute to Ron Howard, presumably occupied with the exciting rebranding of his none-hit-wonder band, The Ordinary Fear of God (formerly Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt, saving, the $25 million per film actor recently explained, the expense of reprinting his TOFOG merchandise.) Seeing a prime opportunity in this Russelless evening to mock the self-serious superstar free of his glowering stares and the possibility of a knuckleballed dessert fork in the eye, many of the presenters had a field day at Crowe's expense:

Michael Keaton said it was "bad news" that Crowe, who starred in Howard's "Cinderella Man" and "A Beautiful Mind," couldn't be at the Waldorf-Astoria gathering. "The good news is that we don't have to listen to his band. They suck. They're horrible. John McCain came up with the anti-torture bill about them."


Jim Carrey introduced a clip from the Howard-directed "The Grinch" by observing, "A lot of people don't think Ron is tough. But he's done a couple of movies with Russell Crowe and there isn't a mark on him."

Then again, Carrey added, "I haven't seen him with his shirt off lately."

Look for Mr. "Fun-having Dick" Carrey to be taken down, Mossad Munich-style, in the Kodak Theater bathrooms at this year's Academy Awards. Crowe doesn't get mad. He gets even. Actually, he gets both.