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Not to put too fine a point on it, but you're running dangerously short on holiday shopping time, and in the event that you're not done yet, you're a bad person. Luckily, the fine people at corporate blogging mothership Gawker Media (motto: Give Until It Hurts, And Then Roll Over And Go To Sleep) are here to save you from the evil, procrastinating elves who live inside your head. They're offering Free! Priority! Mail! to ship your order from our t-shirt shop, ensuring that your Christmakkahwanzaa won't be ruined by the thoughtlessness of old-timey snail mail. Order now, and often, lest shirts like "It's not whoring if you do it for free" (pictured at left, and tattooed in a place we're too modest to reveal in this space) fail to stuff your greedy stockings in time for the holidays. Consume!