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For the second straight year, America's First Family of Celebrity Whoredom has saved Christmas by assembling in the same room (Please, baby Jesus, let it not be Photoshop!), gritting their teeth, and posing for their holiday card. While it's a relief that the spotlight is on the foregrounded Paris, we can't shake the depressing feeling that if the Hiltons truly loved and appreciated their attention-craving daughter's accomplishments, they'd erect an even crasser and more sexually suggestive shrine than the one in Rhode Island to celebrate her majesty.