• Don't even think of acting like you're cool to check out former New Kid Jordan Knight tonight at B.B. King's with 98 Degrees' Jeff Timmons. If you rat your bangs high enough, maybe Jordan will sign your Lisa Frank pencil holder. [flavorpill]
• Our slutty sister Ana Marie Cox, having finally broken free from the chains of blogging, reads from her new book, Dog Days, at the Astor Place Barnes & Noble, 7 PM. Bring your own martini, because we doubt she'll share hers.
• Makor helps you relive your worst childhood nightmares with its "adult" spelling bee tonight. Take advantage of the one-hour open beer and wine bar beforehand and you should be eliminated and put out of your misery rather quickly. [92Y]