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Because apparently none of you people can read without also moving your lips, we hear your pleas and provide this assistance:

• Chris Sullen-trop. (That's "trop" like "drop.)
• Ben-wah Den-eh-zay Lewis.

And while we're at it:

• Yann When-er.
• Corey Seek-ah. (And he's a dude.)
• Mayor Ro-shan.

And, oddly, one of those gentlemen is even straight.

Earlier:
 Breaking (We Think): 'Times' Unveils 'The Opinionator'
Benoit Denizet-Lewis Braves the Horror of Abercrombie & Fitch
Gawker's coverage of Jann Wenner
Gawker's coverage of Maer Roshan
Gawker's coverage of Choire Sicha