This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

USA Today and Variety have amassed the definitive surveys of today's Oscar nominee reactions, with most of the responses falling into one or more of the following categories: "I never expected it," "I feel like a kid again," "I will be celebrating with/without alcohol," "My [insert occupation here] called to tell me the news," "I'm thrilled my co-workers got one too," and, finally, its remorseful companion, "I'm disappointed my co-star was left out."

Jake Gyllenhaal's collected giddiness struck the perfect balance, blending both the matter of fact elements of the industry phone call with the appreciative relief of his co-stars' inclusion. But were it to end there: He then deftly manages to plug his movie while never losing that crucial measure of loopy euphoria in anticipation of the bacchanalia to come:

"My phone voicemail was filled with messages so [my agent] couldn't leave a message so she called me at my house," he says. Tonight, he'll "definitely be doing something" to celebrate, he says.


As for Brokeback's eight nominations, says Gyllenhaal, "the more attention that it gets and the more it's championed by audiences and critics, the more people are likely to see it." He chatted with castmates Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams this morning. "Heath and I talked and I got a, 'Congratulations, mate!'" he says. And Gyllenhaal, who was dating Kirsten Dunst, has no word on who'll be his Oscar date. "I don't know!" he laughs.

Leaving us with a humorous Ledger-related anecdote and a note of romantic mystery just whose designer gown-swathed rear end will fill the plush Kodak Theater seat next to his on Oscar night? were but the final grace notes in what amounted to a master class in humble-movie-star effectiveness. Is it any wonder Academy members were rendered helpless by his sleepy-eyed, quitting-hampered, Brokeback-bottoming charms?