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Wherein we invite our readers to affix the nipple clamps of humpy E! gossip-torturer Ted Casablanca firmly around their areolae and submit to the hurts-so-good-until-the-safety-word pleasures of his weekly blind item. This time, Casablanca sniffs dismissively in the direction of coke-craving starlets in favor of some impending legal disclosures of hot, three-way action. Grab a buddy and mount One Foreboding Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Breaking up is so hard to do, and the aftermath is never pretty. There are so many unanswered questions. Who gets what? Who's to blame? Who will hook up with someone new first? Who will be named in a scandalous, kinky lawsuit? And finally, who cheated? As if divorces weren't ugly enough, things between Julep Jiggle and Driscoll Dreamboat are about get downright abysmal—even though their split occurred some time ago. You see, in the near future, someone's most likely going to file a lawsuit. And in that suit will be highly incriminating conversations about one partner's penchant for extramarital threesomes—so says balking babe with fancy lawyers. This is so exciting, I feel just like Tom Cruise in The Firm!" Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT]defamer.com with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.