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Tomorrow's a "big" "dramatic" day in the celebrity weekly wars, as the Post unveils its new 74-page glossy, Page Six: The Magazine. It's OK, go ahead and take a moment to change your underwear.

So what can you expect in this Sixtacular foray into items longer than 100 words? Jossip was blessed (or cursed?) with an advance copy:

Flip, flip, flip, and we get a hotsheet of the hot eateries (Four Seasons! Nobu 57! Michael's! Cipriani!) you already knew about; a fashion accessories spread to rationalize not returning those Louis Vuitton earrings; Amy Sacco pouring drinks; Stephen Starr's Manhattan restaurant takeover; Keith McNally vs. Graydon Carter in a half-page item aptly titled "Food Fight" about their upcoming foodie endeavors; a roundup of posh nightclubs opening this spring (G-Spa at Gansevoort, Pink Elephant at Crobar); photos of stars making movies in town; Page Six nearly taking credit for nicknaming Owen Wilson "Butterscotch Stallion"...

OK, stop right there. We were going to be all supportive of Richard Johnson's new hobby, but Butterscotch Stallion is very near and dear to our hearts. The phrase is not a creation of any News Corp entity; it's a distinct property of our sun-spotted brother, and even he didn't coin the term. A reader is responsible — a reader of both brilliance and modesty, as to this day she has not allowed anyone to reveal her name. She doesn't need credit or fame; just seeing the Stallion in the flesh was thanks enough.

You could learn something from her, Page Six.

Page Six The Magazine: What's Black and White and Glossy All Over? [Jossip]
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Birth of a Butterscotch Stallion [Defamer]