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Let's get to your blind item guesses before the afternoon dismissal bell sounds and everyone runs screaming for the parking lot, shall we? But first, reintroduce yourself to One Wigged-Out Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Because without good hair, whether it's dyed or natural, curly or ironed, where the hell would we be? Panicking like crazy alongside Musty Mayhem, it would seem. It's like this: The skinny ninny is not eating. And given her predilection for preposterously skanky clothes, that's no shocker. M2 doesn't look like she sucks on much sustenance, anyhow. I mean, she's been teensy for a long-ass time—even back when Lindsay Lohan was originally voluptuous. Can you remember that? Barely, I know. And now things have gotten bad. "She has alopecia," whispers an M.M. associate. "Her hair is falling out, and she is devastated." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump:

You say: Seizing on any number of the skank-related clues that Casablanca provided for an obvious-seeming answer to his riddle, you decided that Paris Hilton was his Musty Mayhem. But we hardly need to remind you by now that one of Ted's favorite pasttimes is making his breadcrumb trail lead right into a bear trap baited with an eightball, so be aware that you may once again have fallen victim to the subterfuge of the language-mangling master.

You say: In the running, but not getting the part: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brandy (guilty by virtue of a recent Fugging), Lara Flynn Boyle, Mary-Kate Olsen, Teri Hatcher, Nicole Kidman, and Mischa Barton.

And The Andy Dick/Dakota Fanning Memorial “You Also Say” Item Goes To: Nancy Reagan. You people are mean sometimes.

Thanks to everyone for playing!